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I’m terrified of public speaking. You wouldn’t know it. You wouldn’t see my pulse explode like lightning behind my eyes while the embodiment of my childhood self scaled a tree. You’d see a polished woman with a gleaming smile, a woman who appears as though she can’t be rattled. I’d pull it off. But I’m not perfect, and each time you see a talking head, cross-armed, or upright on stage with a… Read More

I hate it when anyone starts a hiring pitch with some line about how the world is changing fast and how you need to hire highly “adaptable” people with “can do” attitudes who “fit the culture” of your company.

Not only is it a tired line, but I actually believe it is a failing sentiment. Do not get me wrong, I think most of us want to work in an environment where we evolve at a pace that is in line with our personal ambitions, and in line with the real needs of our peers, clients, and customers. But, we cannot lose sight of the fact that, for our health and happiness (both individually and collectively), we should evolve at a pace that is in line with nature.

We use the term “adaptable” with such absentmindedness these days that sometimes I think people forget we can adapt for better or for worse.

Everyone remembers that scene in Meet the Parents when Ben Stiller makes a sweeping generalization about being able to milk anything with nipples, and Robert De Niro hilariously responds, “I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?”*

That’s the thing about sweeping generalizations. They’re only true sometimes. Sure, I happen to be a breastfeeding mom, and yes, you can milk me. (Well, not you specifically.) But that’s beside the point.

The point is this: people who don’t know me are speaking on my behalf. They are sharing studies in which I did not participate. They claim to understand my values. All because I was a young adult in the year 2000.

Before I continue, I know what you are thinking. “Oh goody, another entitled millennial speaks up.” And to this, I can only respond, indulge me.

With the loot companies are spending on unlocking the secrets of my enigmatic soul, why not? Better you hear it from the horse’s mouth. Heck, maybe we can work something out. After all, I am somewhat of an expert in all things me, and you are a brilliant and open-minded business guru.

So, without further ado, here are 15 requests I’d like to make of all employers, bosses, and the working community at large: